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Raising Resilient Children

Key lessons from a parenting seminar

Yesterday, I attended a parenting seminar led by Lorraine Thomas. Offered once per year at my children's school, I always find her seminars enlightening. Yesterday, after the session, I went up to ask for a bit of advice.

I'm an optimist and, at times, my eldest loves a bit of a moan. Being an eternal optimist (for better or worse), when these moans come about, I often chirp in with a bit of coaching. I acknowledge his point, but always attempt to bring him around to see the sunny side. It never works. So, I brought this concern to Lorraine and she shared a few tips which I thought others may also appreciate...I suspect these tips would work well with everyone who loves a moan--not just the little ones under our wings.

When someone's in the midst of a moan...

  • acknowledge that you've heard and understood their point
  • change the subject (distract!)
  • in the case of children, heap on the praise whenever they look for the bright side in a challenging situation or handle set-backs in a cheerful, constructive way
Though these points seem pretty basic, I've read countless parenting books and was befuddled on how to turn things around. Turns out that my little one had cottoned on to a surefire way of getting my attention as well as my partner's...thankfully, with Lorraine's tips, we're turning things around.
To quote the source...shine some light (i.e. praise) on whatever behaviour you hope to see more of and do your best to overlook the behaviour you don't.
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